I know. [ Faster, this time, just in case. Though with Kakashi still filling the doorframe, clearly interrupted mid-exercise, he stays unmoving. Taller, now, with a new style to his hair and a new gravitas to his demeanor. ]
( why is he getting bossed around in his own dorm room? why is he letting himself get bossed around in his own dorm room? the indignity of it all makes him slouch and obey, stepping aside to leave the closing door alone.
perhaps sasuke's goal all along was to desensitize himself and others to his contrary existence. if so, it's worked tragically well. kakashi may bat an eye at the obvious signs of sasuke growing and aging, but not for as long as he might've if this were their first go-around. he doesn't think anything could be as startling as seeing him outside of the medical bay on their first day in neo tokyo.
a gesture fails to indicate anywhere for sasuke to sit. the room is barren, barely lived in. even the bed is crisply made, looking untouched. hotel-like. )
Don't get possessive over this place. [ "It makes you seem too complacent" goes unsaid, but the glance he gives him says plenty.
And he wastes no time in entering the room itself, dressed in the loungewear provided upon initial arrival at the base. If he's had the opportunity to dig through his closet after being reintroduced, he hasn't taken it. Or, perhaps it's just that added inches and increased musculature have made it impossible for those smaller garments to remain viable options.
Almost immediately he's heading for the large window, taking in the lack of decoration as he moves and making no secret of doing so. ]
At any rate, it's something like that. It's only now that I'm back here that I remember having visited before. For you, it's like I never left. For me... well, the gap between us has grown.
( the interior serves as kakashi's retort. despite his stake of ownership over revelation zero-zero-five, if someone were to change the number plate by the door, it'd be lost among other men and women in the facility. his presence here could only be confirmed by scent, sweat in the air.
he watches sasuke. notes the easier way he speaks to him. )
So they're going to wipe our memories...
( what will their efforts be worth? will nothing they do to settle things between them matter? there's far more to unpack in sasuke's statement than kakashi wants to consider right now, focusing instead on him—only him. )
If it's grown... it's grown. ( whether "gap" references their power, the physical space between them, or their bond. ) But that's no excuse to give me the run around again. I'm going to need you to give me something here.
[ Wipe their memories? For that he has no rebuttal, able to speak only to his own experience – and even then, barely to that. Eyes focus on some distant point in the city, back to him in a way that's reminiscent of their last conversations... that is, until Kakashi's final words.
Slowly, and perhaps symbolically, he turns on his heel, that singular dark eye fixed on his former teacher. His leader. His kage. ]
I came here to discuss my current state with you. You've been made aware of that now. But you...
You had other things on your mind. Ask what you need to, and I'll do what I can to answer.
( sasuke's offering him what he wanted from the start, but kakashi doesn't know where to begin. it feels like a trick. he's waiting for the defensiveness. the tension.
when that doesn't come at the end of a long pause, it's his eyes that avert now from sasuke's. )
... I'm at a distinct disadvantage with you. With Ino. With Itachi. You have years of knowledge I don't have. I want to catch up... whatever that means for me. ( he wasn't ready for what ino had to tell him. he is now after having time to prepare for the worst.
one question is more pressing than the others: )
Why didn't you warn me Itachi was here? He's a threat. To be frank, Sasuke, the kaiju are less pressing an issue.
[ Hearing his brother's name will always set him on edge, but unlike when he was a preteen fighting for recognition at Kakashi's side it doesn't show in his expression. There's no anger ready to spark into something violent, and more importantly as an adult there's also no lingering thread of that prickly defensiveness.
At the question his eyes close, but even then only for the barest of seconds. ]
... very well. What you're saying is understandable.
I didn't warn you back then because any encounter with you was already a risk. I didn't want to face you, and to face you speaking about him would be even more unconscionable. Looking back, it's clear what would've been the wiser choice. [ Will he ask for forgiveness? No. But he can do the minimum of what Kakashi asks, which is to offer an explanation. ]
I don't expect you to believe it when I say it to you... but Itachi is not a threat. Not to me, and not to you. I believe he'll do what he can to help those here.
"Itachi is not a threat." ( it's as though a vital vessel has burst inside of his skull and the words he repeats aloud have been strung together disjointedly in his mouth. ) Sasuke, hearing that from you is... Well, you're right. I can't believe it.
( sasuke left the village to pursue itachi. his goal to kill him had been a success; if he reconciled with naruto, kakashi assumed it would be because he was through and he was tired.
now he's wondering if it all happened a different way. )
Did he convince you of that? What happened between you two?
There are so many angles and answers that it feels overwhelming, a history that's condensation into words would entirely fail to convey the sheer weight behind each and every shared memory.
But Kakashi is right. He deserves warning. He deserves inclusion. Sasuke's ability to deliver that effectively shouldn't preclude him from trying. ]
... we fought. And it was only after that fight was concluded, and after he was dead, that I came to understand why he did what he did that night. Those reasons... each and every one would be better conveyed by him.
But what you need to know is that I trust him with my life. After everything, I believe in him.
( sasuke's vague responses frustrate him into forming fists. they remain at his sides because there's no application he'd allow beyond how they've already configured themselves, fingers curling against his palms until they creak. just like chakra output, his moods have to be balanced. if he's to be calm through this ordeal of a conversation, something else has got to give. )
There's no excuse for his actions, Sasuke. You know that better than anyone.
( chasing itachi down to kill him is considered by konoha to be a criminal action despite the bingo book's contents suggesting they kill rogues on sight. so, what would sasuke agreeing with itachi's dark philosophies be considered?
kakashi can't imagine a world in which a man behind a genocide is considered trustworthy. if that makes him naive, he doesn't give a good goddamn. )
But you're the only one I'll hear any of this from. How did you come to understand?
[ The words are sharp in spite of his surface-level composure, a mere hint of just what might be bubbling beneath that calm exterior. It's not anger that glints in that ever-watchful and unblinking eye, not quite, but the focus and determination that is there is no doubt at least fueled in part by it. ]
I said I understood his actions. Just as I understand now that my answers are half-formed and frustrating to you by necessity. I told you I believe it should come from him and I stand by that. Even so... if he refuses to give you the story in his own time, know that I will. [ It's a burden, and the sheer weight of it strips any of that short-lived fire from his tone. Perhaps it's for the best. ]
As for how I learned... it was from his associates, at first. After our battle I was taken by a man who worked with him, a member of Akatsuki, and told pieces of my brother's history. Later I heard more from Itachi himself, after Edo Tensei was used to target him. And more... I heard from a man named Shimura Danzou.
I don't expect you to take in everything I have to say at once, but the information I had was reliable and I made my own decision, Kakashi.
( sasuke's bite doesn't take away from the contents of what he says next. it's hard to care when three names are presented to him: akatsuki. edo tensei. shimura danzou.
his right eye widens, the left only managing to stay closed when eyebrows arched high sink in an immediate clouding of his expression. half-formed and frustrated is the complex nature of his opinion of shimura danzou, though barely restrained from a complete hatred that rises in his chest like reflux due to the intervention of the sandaime. if shimura danzou possessed information about the uchiha clan's demise, then it was precisely because of itachi's affiliation with root, his previous work as an anbu captain, his stationing on team ro, and their surveillance of a coup d'état in its foetal form.
they brought it to him for him to do what he liked with it. what was it warped into? )
Sasuke. ( kakashi steps forward, closing the distance between them. within an arm's length, the fine details of an older face become pronounced. but it will always be familiar to him despite these differences, memories softening all that's become angular and firm.
his hand raises and becomes a gesture he abandons to conversation. he'd encourage him with a touch to his shoulder or back or head. that was allowed then. he doesn't feel as though he has the right to now. )
I can't hear the story from Itachi. Because I won't believe it, not after everything. I know it's not what you want, but I have to hear it from you.
( his implication here is clear: of the uchiha present, any future impression kakashi develops of the clan and the night of the massacre will be entrusted to sasuke and only sasuke. the burden of truth shouldn't be placed on the shoulders of the one who suffered the most from learning it, but he must determine whether or not his student demonstrates true belief in what he's been told or if his mind has been broken to accept a less terrible reality.
that is the duty entrusted to him.
to apologize for concealing information about his relationships with danzou and itachi that might've benefited this mystery once would be prudent. too late, kakashi realizes. by hours or by years, he's always been too late. would it mean anything now? )
I worked with Danzou. I worked with your brother. I'm aware he was scouted to run operations for the Root division of the Anbu. If they were affiliated beyond that, I must know.
[ Kakashi approaches, and it's more of an interest than a threat. Is it an apology for asking him to speak? Is it a way to communicate the trust that he has in him? Or is it simply a desire for them both to be closer? The second is the easiest to believe when it's what's motivating Sasuke's quiet reconsideration of his previous stance. No doubt Kakashi is telling the truth that a story from his brother would hold little credibility... and is he wrong for having that belief? Didn't Sasuke himself doubt what he'd heard until he'd validated it against three separate men? Though unlike Kakashi, Itachi's word was the one he believed in most.
His chin lifts and his eyes narrow at the mention of Danzou from his teacher, a slip he'd correct if not for what follows. "I worked with Danzou." Wounds long since closed are pulled at and it shows in his expression, those tiny flickers of emotion that would be bombastic in anyone else but in Uchiha Sasuke are left to simmer. ]
Is that so.
[ How much. How much did he know? ]
He must have had an impact on you if you're willing to jump ahead to that question, but I can't give you an answer without context. Which means, if you'll only hear it from me, that that's more I have to tell you first. One thing. The most important thing.
[ Only now does the anger vanish, but it doesn't drain organically from his expression. Instead features iron out into forced placidity, an immediate shield against whatever follows after. ]
My brother did not decide independently to target our family. He had no personal interest in the Akatsuki or his own supremacy. Instead... he was approached by representatives of Konoha in secret. If you worked with both of them then it stands to reason you also knew about the rising tensions between the Uchiha and the village, and what might come of those tensions.
To preserve peace, Itachi removed one half of that equation himself.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I CAN'T HELP IT
( exercising, but not anymore. if sasuke's on his way, then kakashi's shoving up out of his last push-up and resting briefly in a crouch. )
Is this urgent?
no subject
For anyone else, yes. For a skilled shinobi, someone trained to apply the word "emergency" only to life and death scenarios, well... ]
No, but you'll want to speak with me regardless. Expect me momentarily.
[ True to his word, it's barely a minute before there's a buzz at Kakashi's door. ]
1/3
with barely enough time to fit his medical mask over his nose and chin, he informally greets sasuke in it and a pair of dark sweatpants. )
I'm surprised you didn't barge—
2/3
the motion sensor, after reading "non-detect" for ten seconds, signals the door to hiss shut. )
3/3
This is unexpected.
1/3
[ the door shuts ]
2/3
3/3
I know. [ Faster, this time, just in case. Though with Kakashi still filling the doorframe, clearly interrupted mid-exercise, he stays unmoving. Taller, now, with a new style to his hair and a new gravitas to his demeanor. ]
It's unexpected for both of us.
Now move.
no subject
( why is he getting bossed around in his own dorm room? why is he letting himself get bossed around in his own dorm room? the indignity of it all makes him slouch and obey, stepping aside to leave the closing door alone.
perhaps sasuke's goal all along was to desensitize himself and others to his contrary existence. if so, it's worked tragically well. kakashi may bat an eye at the obvious signs of sasuke growing and aging, but not for as long as he might've if this were their first go-around. he doesn't think anything could be as startling as seeing him outside of the medical bay on their first day in neo tokyo.
a gesture fails to indicate anywhere for sasuke to sit. the room is barren, barely lived in. even the bed is crisply made, looking untouched. hotel-like. )
What happened? Another... time anomaly?
no subject
And he wastes no time in entering the room itself, dressed in the loungewear provided upon initial arrival at the base. If he's had the opportunity to dig through his closet after being reintroduced, he hasn't taken it. Or, perhaps it's just that added inches and increased musculature have made it impossible for those smaller garments to remain viable options.
Almost immediately he's heading for the large window, taking in the lack of decoration as he moves and making no secret of doing so. ]
At any rate, it's something like that. It's only now that I'm back here that I remember having visited before. For you, it's like I never left. For me... well, the gap between us has grown.
no subject
he watches sasuke. notes the easier way he speaks to him. )
So they're going to wipe our memories...
( what will their efforts be worth? will nothing they do to settle things between them matter? there's far more to unpack in sasuke's statement than kakashi wants to consider right now, focusing instead on him—only him. )
If it's grown... it's grown. ( whether "gap" references their power, the physical space between them, or their bond. ) But that's no excuse to give me the run around again. I'm going to need you to give me something here.
no subject
Slowly, and perhaps symbolically, he turns on his heel, that singular dark eye fixed on his former teacher. His leader. His kage. ]
I came here to discuss my current state with you. You've been made aware of that now. But you...
You had other things on your mind. Ask what you need to, and I'll do what I can to answer.
no subject
when that doesn't come at the end of a long pause, it's his eyes that avert now from sasuke's. )
... I'm at a distinct disadvantage with you. With Ino. With Itachi. You have years of knowledge I don't have. I want to catch up... whatever that means for me. ( he wasn't ready for what ino had to tell him. he is now after having time to prepare for the worst.
one question is more pressing than the others: )
Why didn't you warn me Itachi was here? He's a threat. To be frank, Sasuke, the kaiju are less pressing an issue.
no subject
At the question his eyes close, but even then only for the barest of seconds. ]
... very well. What you're saying is understandable.
I didn't warn you back then because any encounter with you was already a risk. I didn't want to face you, and to face you speaking about him would be even more unconscionable. Looking back, it's clear what would've been the wiser choice. [ Will he ask for forgiveness? No. But he can do the minimum of what Kakashi asks, which is to offer an explanation. ]
I don't expect you to believe it when I say it to you... but Itachi is not a threat. Not to me, and not to you. I believe he'll do what he can to help those here.
no subject
( sasuke left the village to pursue itachi. his goal to kill him had been a success; if he reconciled with naruto, kakashi assumed it would be because he was through and he was tired.
now he's wondering if it all happened a different way. )
Did he convince you of that? What happened between you two?
no subject
There are so many angles and answers that it feels overwhelming, a history that's condensation into words would entirely fail to convey the sheer weight behind each and every shared memory.
But Kakashi is right. He deserves warning. He deserves inclusion. Sasuke's ability to deliver that effectively shouldn't preclude him from trying. ]
... we fought. And it was only after that fight was concluded, and after he was dead, that I came to understand why he did what he did that night. Those reasons... each and every one would be better conveyed by him.
But what you need to know is that I trust him with my life. After everything, I believe in him.
no subject
There's no excuse for his actions, Sasuke. You know that better than anyone.
( chasing itachi down to kill him is considered by konoha to be a criminal action despite the bingo book's contents suggesting they kill rogues on sight. so, what would sasuke agreeing with itachi's dark philosophies be considered?
kakashi can't imagine a world in which a man behind a genocide is considered trustworthy. if that makes him naive, he doesn't give a good goddamn. )
But you're the only one I'll hear any of this from. How did you come to understand?
no subject
[ The words are sharp in spite of his surface-level composure, a mere hint of just what might be bubbling beneath that calm exterior. It's not anger that glints in that ever-watchful and unblinking eye, not quite, but the focus and determination that is there is no doubt at least fueled in part by it. ]
I said I understood his actions. Just as I understand now that my answers are half-formed and frustrating to you by necessity. I told you I believe it should come from him and I stand by that. Even so... if he refuses to give you the story in his own time, know that I will. [ It's a burden, and the sheer weight of it strips any of that short-lived fire from his tone. Perhaps it's for the best. ]
As for how I learned... it was from his associates, at first. After our battle I was taken by a man who worked with him, a member of Akatsuki, and told pieces of my brother's history. Later I heard more from Itachi himself, after Edo Tensei was used to target him. And more... I heard from a man named Shimura Danzou.
I don't expect you to take in everything I have to say at once, but the information I had was reliable and I made my own decision, Kakashi.
no subject
his right eye widens, the left only managing to stay closed when eyebrows arched high sink in an immediate clouding of his expression. half-formed and frustrated is the complex nature of his opinion of shimura danzou, though barely restrained from a complete hatred that rises in his chest like reflux due to the intervention of the sandaime. if shimura danzou possessed information about the uchiha clan's demise, then it was precisely because of itachi's affiliation with root, his previous work as an anbu captain, his stationing on team ro, and their surveillance of a coup d'état in its foetal form.
they brought it to him for him to do what he liked with it. what was it warped into? )
Sasuke. ( kakashi steps forward, closing the distance between them. within an arm's length, the fine details of an older face become pronounced. but it will always be familiar to him despite these differences, memories softening all that's become angular and firm.
his hand raises and becomes a gesture he abandons to conversation. he'd encourage him with a touch to his shoulder or back or head. that was allowed then. he doesn't feel as though he has the right to now. )
I can't hear the story from Itachi. Because I won't believe it, not after everything. I know it's not what you want, but I have to hear it from you.
( his implication here is clear: of the uchiha present, any future impression kakashi develops of the clan and the night of the massacre will be entrusted to sasuke and only sasuke. the burden of truth shouldn't be placed on the shoulders of the one who suffered the most from learning it, but he must determine whether or not his student demonstrates true belief in what he's been told or if his mind has been broken to accept a less terrible reality.
that is the duty entrusted to him.
to apologize for concealing information about his relationships with danzou and itachi that might've benefited this mystery once would be prudent. too late, kakashi realizes. by hours or by years, he's always been too late. would it mean anything now? )
I worked with Danzou. I worked with your brother. I'm aware he was scouted to run operations for the Root division of the Anbu. If they were affiliated beyond that, I must know.
How did you meet that man?
no subject
His chin lifts and his eyes narrow at the mention of Danzou from his teacher, a slip he'd correct if not for what follows. "I worked with Danzou." Wounds long since closed are pulled at and it shows in his expression, those tiny flickers of emotion that would be bombastic in anyone else but in Uchiha Sasuke are left to simmer. ]
Is that so.
[ How much. How much did he know? ]
He must have had an impact on you if you're willing to jump ahead to that question, but I can't give you an answer without context. Which means, if you'll only hear it from me, that that's more I have to tell you first. One thing. The most important thing.
[ Only now does the anger vanish, but it doesn't drain organically from his expression. Instead features iron out into forced placidity, an immediate shield against whatever follows after. ]
My brother did not decide independently to target our family. He had no personal interest in the Akatsuki or his own supremacy. Instead... he was approached by representatives of Konoha in secret. If you worked with both of them then it stands to reason you also knew about the rising tensions between the Uchiha and the village, and what might come of those tensions.
To preserve peace, Itachi removed one half of that equation himself.